You know what? Fine. I’ll accept it. I’ll accept that things are fucked up. I don’t know why I’ve told myself they aren’t. Everything is fucked up, I suppose that’s just the way things work. Fucked up. I’ll warn you, I may be about to say a cliche, but I don’t think so.
The only thing that seems to make sense to me now is music, and music doesn’t make sense. The only things that make sense to me are things that don’t make sense. What the fuck am I talking about?
I’m sure this idea is developed, but anyway; I’m beginning to think the entire human population functions as sort of a machine. An incredibly elaborate machine. There are many parts to this machine, and although everything seems fucked up—every last bit of the machine—it still runs. At least I think it’s running smoothly. It will probably keep running until it fails, like every other machine.
I think we are all functioning as machines too. I believe that “free will is just an illusion” shit. Think about it, it makes things easier. It makes me less mad and remorseful and bitter. Just accept the fucking chaos. Someone destroys me? I don’t know why—but I should just fucking accept it and understand that they did it because they are them. Hahaha. They can’t help it, even if they think they can; even if I think they can. All of our decisions, choices, and actions are just chemicals reacting to each other.
Maybe that’s all we really are. Just machines that run day-to-day and eventually break down. Our souls are just in this intricate trance, and we think we’re in the driver’s seat of our lives, even though we’re just sitting shotgun to ourselves.
Maybe we’re all just chemical reactions.
It’s easier for me to think that way, at least.
